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ladygrendelTitle: The Lion-Hearted Girl
Fandom: Marvel Earth-616 and Earth-3490
Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers, Natasha Stark, Reed Richards, Spider-Man, Luke Cage, Danny Rand, Stephen Strange, Carol Danvers, Ben Grimm, Nick Fury (Steve/Tony pre-slash, established Steve/Natasha)
Spoilers: set post-Siege
Warnings: bodyswap (Tony to Natasha and vice-versa), alien invasion, survivor guilt, loss of spouse and child, mentions of depression and alcoholism, language, sexual content
Chapter Two
>>>>>
Chapter Three
"No, Ben. It might have been a week for you, but for me it was about seven years."
The conference room was dead silent, which was impressive considering it was full of some of the loudest people Steve had ever known. Half of the group looked completely shocked while the other half was masked, but the general air of astonishment was palpable.
“What did you find there?” he asked, as no one else seemed able to speak.
“Well, to start with there was no superhuman civil war. Your alternate-self and Tony’s worked together to satisfy both pro and anti-registration people. Their Reed Richards, because of this, was able to complete the registration program and started the Fifty State Initiative. Stamford never happened and Norman Osborn had already been dead for years.”
“Are you kidding me?” Everyone looked at Spider-Man. “C’mon, why do they get to be spared the war and Osborn? Just doesn’t seem fair is all.”
“Actually Norman Osborn died as the Green Goblin in a fight with that universe’s Spider-Man years earlier,” said Reed helpfully.
“Oh,” said Spider-Man, sinking down in his seat. “Never mind.”
“Harry Osborn became that universe’s version of the Kingpin and married Elektra Natchios, who was his right-hand woman,” he continued. “Matt Murdock and Jennifer Walters were completely human and were engaged, too. They ran a successful law firm in New York with Foggy Nelson.”
“This is all very interesting,” said Stephen Strange from his seat next to Luke’s, “though I couldn’t help but notice that you keep referring to that world in the past tense.”
Steve looked from Strange to Reed, wondering the same thing. There was something seriously wrong here and Reed was intentionally dancing around it. He felt the knot of anxiety in his chest tighten a notch in response.
“Yes, I’m getting to that.” Reed took a deep breath, preparing for a plunge. “What you all need to know is that I found our Tony there, in that universe. He had already been living there for several years in his alternate-self’s body, and all of our counterparts were aware of the situation. Near the end of our time there, that universe was invaded by an alien race called the Apharsites, who didn’t conquer that reality but annihilated it. My research revealed that by destroying matter, they gather enough energy to move onto other universes where the cycle begins again.”
Reed laid his hands on the back of the chair in front of him and hung his head, looking older and more worn that Steve had ever seen him.
“We couldn’t stop them,” he said quietly, the admission of failure visibly painful. “We couldn’t save that world or those people. I barely had enough time to get me and Tony out before the whole universe ceased to exist.”
“But I’ve talked to that person in Tony’s body,” said Steve, “and that most definitely isn’t Tony.”
“Tony’s awake?” asked Spider-Man, perking up. All of the others around the table stirred at this piece of news with varying degrees of happiness.
“Tony’s body is no longer brain-dead,” said Reed carefully, “but Tony himself isn’t in charge. His alternate-self is and for some reason has all of the memories Tony accumulated during his time there, but has none of his memories of this universe. It’s as if he was never there and his alternate-self experienced everything firsthand.”
“I don’t understand,” said Carol, leaning forward in her chair. “Is this a good or a bad thing?”
“The important thing to keep in mind is that this person, despite looking like him, isn’t Tony. This is someone who has lost her home and-”
“Hang on a sec,” said Luke loudly. “Are you telling me that Stark’s a woman now?”
“A woman in a man’s body,” Reed corrected him. “Natasha Stark was Iron Woman in her world, as well as a wife and mother. Now she’s neither.” He turned to Steve and said, “I recommend calling Charles or Emma Frost to help with figuring out what precisely has happened. The best case scenario is that Tony has simply been locked away in Natasha’s subconscious.”
“And the worst case scenario?” asked Steve, all eyes on him.
“The worst case scenario is that Tony’s dead,” said Reed, “and we’ve been left with an alcoholic widow who’s got a vendetta and nothing to lose.”
>>>
Natasha stared at her reflection, reminded of a funhouse mirror she had once seen as a child at a carnival. Jarvis had been the one to take her, after much begging and pleading. Her parents had deemed taking their daughter to a common carnival beneath them, but Jarvis had always felt more like family than them anyway. Now he was nothing but another hole in her heart. She knew by now that it had to resemble Swiss cheese, but the mental image failed to make her smile.
Sitting around the bathroom sink were several items a nurse had given her: a toothbrush, toothpaste, a comb, a razor, and a small can of shaving cream. Tony Stark was well on his way to looking like Grizzly Adams and the beard itched.
“This is a duel to the death,” she told it. “One of us has to go, and I’d rather it be you.”
Shaving wasn’t too difficult. She had done it a few times for Steve, either when he couldn’t do it himself or when they managed to get some time to themselves, like a quiet morning. Natasha never rushed it, always wishing that she could make the moment last forever. That fact that Steve had trusted her with the task had always made her feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. She wondered if this Steve-
“Stop it, Tasha. You’re just torturing yourself.”
In an attempt to keep her mind blank, Natasha focused all of her attention on the task at hand. It didn’t take nearly as long as she had hoped, and while Tony Stark definitely looked different without any facial hair, he still didn’t look anything like her. Next she brushed her teeth, feeling much cleaner with each scrub. It was strange how something simple like that could make her feel more normal. She’d experienced the same phenomenon following her return home from Afghanistan after being held hostage by Al-Qaeda.
A smidge reluctant, she finally spat the suds into the sink and washed her mouth out with water. It was getting close to the point where she wouldn’t be able to ignore that familiar sensation of pressure building in her body – it seemed that no matter the sex, the need to go to the bathroom was the same. With a sigh, she turned and faced her dreaded enemy – the toilet.
“Oh, this is going to be interesting…”
>>>
It was pretty obvious that no one had wanted to stay and wait for Natasha with Steve. He was determined to take her (and that particular pronoun was going to take some getting used to) back to Avengers Tower in order to keep an eye on her. As soon as the meeting concluded the others had practically fled, citing various yet plausible excuses to not stay behind. In the end he had managed to snag Luke, Danny, and Spider-man as they were all going to the same place. This meant Steve wouldn't be alone with her, and he hadn't decided whether or not that had been intentional on his part.
“Here they come,” Luke muttered.
“Did he…oh my god, he shaved,” said Spider-Man in awe.
So she had. Despite being in a man's body, Natasha still moved like a woman, swinging Tony's hips as she walked. It was the first thing Steve noticed, followed closely by the observation that he couldn't remember the last time he had seen Tony's body move so sensually. Fury didn't appear to be quite as distracted by Natasha as Steve, following close behind her like a second shadow with a perpetual scowl.
“I talked to Richards and he said that he’d find a telepath for you.”
“Right.” Steve turned his attention to Natasha. “Are you ready to go to the Tower with us?”
"No. I want to go to the Mansion."
An awkward silence ensued. Steve couldn't think of anything to say to that, Fury looked more than happy to let Steve handle it, and the other three clearly didn't want to get involved. Natasha had the same stubborn look in her eye that Tony would get when he refused to budge.
“You do know that the Mansion is gone, right?” asked Steve finally.
"Yes, Reed told me. I want to see if for myself," she replied. "You can either take me there yourself or I can find my own way. I honestly don't give a damn which it is."
He could tell that Natasha wasn’t going to let this go even though she appeared almost dead on her feet. If the media got wind of her it would take all of Steve’s political clout to get Congress to leave her alone, even after they had decided not to pin Osborn’s crimes on Tony. She needed protection and some peace of mind before things got crazy. If visiting the Mansion could give her that, who was he to deny her?
“Fine, but we’re not staying long. Maybe twenty minutes at the most. You need to rest after having such a busy day,” he added dryly.
Natasha crossed her arms and pouted playfully in response. It caused Tony to look uncommonly adorable and, for a brief moment, Steve forgot to breathe.
“Such a mother hen,” she muttered, climbing into the passenger seat. “I kick a couple of guys’ asses and you sentence me to bed rest.”
“Don’t make me change my mind,” he warned her.
“I can’t remember the last time I had to ride in the back of a car,” Spider-Man mused once he, Luke, and Danny had piled into the car.
“I always sit in the back,” said Danny. “What would be the point of having a driver if you didn’t?”
Luke, who had somehow gotten stuck sitting between them, just shook his head.
“Cop cars,” was all he said, and the topic was dropped.
The flying vehicle rose and Steve directed out into the open sky, keeping one eye on his rearview mirror as he watched Fury see them off without waving. The sun would be setting in a couple of hours, reminding him of how long a day it had been. To think that just this morning Steve’s main concern had been Don taking Tony off life-support was surreal.
“You should probably apologize to Don next time you see him,” he said to Natasha.
She turned away from the window, frowning. “Who’s Don?”
“Donald Blake? He was the doctor you took hostage this morning.”
“Yeah, taking a doctor hostage really doesn’t help you make a good impression.” Natasha appeared suitably ashamed. “I’m sure he didn’t appreciate me threatening to break his neck either.”
“You threatened to break a god’s neck? Wow,” said Spider-Man. “You’re braver than me.”
“He’s a god?” Steve didn’t realize that he was staring at her in disbelief until Natasha scowled. “What?”
“You don’t know who Thor is?” he asked, trying not to get distracted from where he was driving.
“He’s the Norse god of thunder or something, right? I don’t understand what that’s to do with anything.”
“In our universe, Thor is one of the founding Avengers,” said Steve. “He and Donald Blake are…well, it’s a little complicated. They’re sort of the same person, but not exactly. Don uses his cane to become Thor, and the cane becomes his hammer Mjölnir.”
“So why didn’t he just use his stick to kick my ass when I grabbed him?” asked Natasha, curious.
“You knocked it out of his hand when you grabbed him.”
“Oh…oops?” She peered out at the city landscape beneath them. “It looks so alive.”
“It’s New York,” said Luke gruffly. “What’d you expect?”
“I don’t know,” she confessed. “It’s just been a long time since I’ve seen so many people in one place. It’s a little overwhelming.”
Trying to picture New York the way she was describing it was unduly depressing, and made Steve think of the apocalyptic films that were so popular. He wasn’t a big fan of them and they hadn’t been played often back when the Avengers had movie night. Everyone had preferred upbeat classics, like Indiana Jones.
“We don’t have to stay long if you don’t want to,” said Steve gently.
The car began its descent once the Mansion was in view and even seeing it from this height didn’t ease the ache in his heart. Natasha pressed her hands against the window and he could see her expression reflected in the glass. It was easy to recognize the grief and sorrow, as he had often seen Tony show those emotions, but there was also something else that he couldn’t identify. While they had loved and lost the Mansion, Steve got the impression that the same thing hadn’t happened in Natasha’s world. He resolved to ask her once she had settled in.
They landed silently in the memorial garden and the trio in the back climbed out before Steve. The Young Avengers had done a good job with the statues but he still felt uncomfortable with being stared at by the unseeing eyes of lost friends and teammates.
“Um, Cap?”
He tore his gaze away from Scott Lang’s statue to see Danny pointing awkwardly at the car. Natasha was still inside and hadn’t made a move to get out either. Worried that it may be too much, Steve opened the door and crouched down so he wasn’t looming over her.
“Natasha?”
She took a deep, shuddering breathe. “I’m fine.”
Steve didn’t believe it for a minute, but she rose out of her seat and he backed off to give her room. Natasha tucked her hands into the pockets of the uniform Fury had found for her and strolled off towards the Mansion ruins, head held high. He followed her without hesitation and it made him realize how much he missed having Tony’s back. Coming here with Natasha, with Tony, quickly proved to be a bad idea as old feelings rose to the surface. He wanted to only remember the good times, but his and Tony’s fights during the war kept playing out in his mind’s eye.
“My son grew up here.”
He blinked, surprised to find that they were in the same room the Avengers had gathered in all those months after Wanda’s breakdown. Seeing Natasha with her arms wrapped tight around herself as if to ward off a chill reminded him of how small Jennifer Walters had seemed then, so broken.
“My Jim grew up here. Just like Cassie, Nathan, and the twins. They all…”
She trailed off, clearly at a loss. Steve wanted to reach out and comfort her but could sense a chasm between them, a chasm created by her personal loss that he couldn’t quite empathize. It was one thing to wake up decades later to a new world, but to lose one and find yourself in a reflection of it was different.
Without warning Natasha grabbed a nearby chair and flung it at the closest wall with a scream of rage. It mostly fell apart in her hands due to decay, but what was left made a loud splintering sound on contact. Her shoulders heaved as she attempted to steady herself and Steve was glad that they had gone inside alone. Seeing her come undone like this would have probably scared both Danny and Spider-Man off while making Luke even more mistrustful of her.
“I think I’m ready to go now,” said Natasha quietly, breathing back under control.
She didn’t wait for an answer, but walked out of the Mansion and carefully avoided making eye contact with anyone as she got back into the car. Danny and Spider-Man exchange looks – or the equivalent while wearing masks – and followed suit. Luke grabbed Steve’s shoulder as he walked by.
“Everything okay?” he asked. Steve realized he must have heard Natasha’s scream.
“I’ll call Charles myself,” he said instead. “I’m not going to risk Reed getting involved in a project and forgetting. Even if we can’t get Tony back she needs someone to talk to, some kind of counseling.”
“Yeah.” Luke shook his head humorlessly. “Amazing how fucked up this job can make us, huh?”
He got back into the car, forcing Spider-man into the middle. Steve just stood there, alone, in a garden full of dead Avengers and wondered what in the hell life was going to throw at them next.
>>>>>
Chapter Four
Fandom: Marvel Earth-616 and Earth-3490
Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers, Natasha Stark, Reed Richards, Spider-Man, Luke Cage, Danny Rand, Stephen Strange, Carol Danvers, Ben Grimm, Nick Fury (Steve/Tony pre-slash, established Steve/Natasha)
Spoilers: set post-Siege
Warnings: bodyswap (Tony to Natasha and vice-versa), alien invasion, survivor guilt, loss of spouse and child, mentions of depression and alcoholism, language, sexual content
Chapter Two
>>>>>
Chapter Three
"No, Ben. It might have been a week for you, but for me it was about seven years."
The conference room was dead silent, which was impressive considering it was full of some of the loudest people Steve had ever known. Half of the group looked completely shocked while the other half was masked, but the general air of astonishment was palpable.
“What did you find there?” he asked, as no one else seemed able to speak.
“Well, to start with there was no superhuman civil war. Your alternate-self and Tony’s worked together to satisfy both pro and anti-registration people. Their Reed Richards, because of this, was able to complete the registration program and started the Fifty State Initiative. Stamford never happened and Norman Osborn had already been dead for years.”
“Are you kidding me?” Everyone looked at Spider-Man. “C’mon, why do they get to be spared the war and Osborn? Just doesn’t seem fair is all.”
“Actually Norman Osborn died as the Green Goblin in a fight with that universe’s Spider-Man years earlier,” said Reed helpfully.
“Oh,” said Spider-Man, sinking down in his seat. “Never mind.”
“Harry Osborn became that universe’s version of the Kingpin and married Elektra Natchios, who was his right-hand woman,” he continued. “Matt Murdock and Jennifer Walters were completely human and were engaged, too. They ran a successful law firm in New York with Foggy Nelson.”
“This is all very interesting,” said Stephen Strange from his seat next to Luke’s, “though I couldn’t help but notice that you keep referring to that world in the past tense.”
Steve looked from Strange to Reed, wondering the same thing. There was something seriously wrong here and Reed was intentionally dancing around it. He felt the knot of anxiety in his chest tighten a notch in response.
“Yes, I’m getting to that.” Reed took a deep breath, preparing for a plunge. “What you all need to know is that I found our Tony there, in that universe. He had already been living there for several years in his alternate-self’s body, and all of our counterparts were aware of the situation. Near the end of our time there, that universe was invaded by an alien race called the Apharsites, who didn’t conquer that reality but annihilated it. My research revealed that by destroying matter, they gather enough energy to move onto other universes where the cycle begins again.”
Reed laid his hands on the back of the chair in front of him and hung his head, looking older and more worn that Steve had ever seen him.
“We couldn’t stop them,” he said quietly, the admission of failure visibly painful. “We couldn’t save that world or those people. I barely had enough time to get me and Tony out before the whole universe ceased to exist.”
“But I’ve talked to that person in Tony’s body,” said Steve, “and that most definitely isn’t Tony.”
“Tony’s awake?” asked Spider-Man, perking up. All of the others around the table stirred at this piece of news with varying degrees of happiness.
“Tony’s body is no longer brain-dead,” said Reed carefully, “but Tony himself isn’t in charge. His alternate-self is and for some reason has all of the memories Tony accumulated during his time there, but has none of his memories of this universe. It’s as if he was never there and his alternate-self experienced everything firsthand.”
“I don’t understand,” said Carol, leaning forward in her chair. “Is this a good or a bad thing?”
“The important thing to keep in mind is that this person, despite looking like him, isn’t Tony. This is someone who has lost her home and-”
“Hang on a sec,” said Luke loudly. “Are you telling me that Stark’s a woman now?”
“A woman in a man’s body,” Reed corrected him. “Natasha Stark was Iron Woman in her world, as well as a wife and mother. Now she’s neither.” He turned to Steve and said, “I recommend calling Charles or Emma Frost to help with figuring out what precisely has happened. The best case scenario is that Tony has simply been locked away in Natasha’s subconscious.”
“And the worst case scenario?” asked Steve, all eyes on him.
“The worst case scenario is that Tony’s dead,” said Reed, “and we’ve been left with an alcoholic widow who’s got a vendetta and nothing to lose.”
>>>
Natasha stared at her reflection, reminded of a funhouse mirror she had once seen as a child at a carnival. Jarvis had been the one to take her, after much begging and pleading. Her parents had deemed taking their daughter to a common carnival beneath them, but Jarvis had always felt more like family than them anyway. Now he was nothing but another hole in her heart. She knew by now that it had to resemble Swiss cheese, but the mental image failed to make her smile.
Sitting around the bathroom sink were several items a nurse had given her: a toothbrush, toothpaste, a comb, a razor, and a small can of shaving cream. Tony Stark was well on his way to looking like Grizzly Adams and the beard itched.
“This is a duel to the death,” she told it. “One of us has to go, and I’d rather it be you.”
Shaving wasn’t too difficult. She had done it a few times for Steve, either when he couldn’t do it himself or when they managed to get some time to themselves, like a quiet morning. Natasha never rushed it, always wishing that she could make the moment last forever. That fact that Steve had trusted her with the task had always made her feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. She wondered if this Steve-
“Stop it, Tasha. You’re just torturing yourself.”
In an attempt to keep her mind blank, Natasha focused all of her attention on the task at hand. It didn’t take nearly as long as she had hoped, and while Tony Stark definitely looked different without any facial hair, he still didn’t look anything like her. Next she brushed her teeth, feeling much cleaner with each scrub. It was strange how something simple like that could make her feel more normal. She’d experienced the same phenomenon following her return home from Afghanistan after being held hostage by Al-Qaeda.
A smidge reluctant, she finally spat the suds into the sink and washed her mouth out with water. It was getting close to the point where she wouldn’t be able to ignore that familiar sensation of pressure building in her body – it seemed that no matter the sex, the need to go to the bathroom was the same. With a sigh, she turned and faced her dreaded enemy – the toilet.
“Oh, this is going to be interesting…”
>>>
It was pretty obvious that no one had wanted to stay and wait for Natasha with Steve. He was determined to take her (and that particular pronoun was going to take some getting used to) back to Avengers Tower in order to keep an eye on her. As soon as the meeting concluded the others had practically fled, citing various yet plausible excuses to not stay behind. In the end he had managed to snag Luke, Danny, and Spider-man as they were all going to the same place. This meant Steve wouldn't be alone with her, and he hadn't decided whether or not that had been intentional on his part.
“Here they come,” Luke muttered.
“Did he…oh my god, he shaved,” said Spider-Man in awe.
So she had. Despite being in a man's body, Natasha still moved like a woman, swinging Tony's hips as she walked. It was the first thing Steve noticed, followed closely by the observation that he couldn't remember the last time he had seen Tony's body move so sensually. Fury didn't appear to be quite as distracted by Natasha as Steve, following close behind her like a second shadow with a perpetual scowl.
“I talked to Richards and he said that he’d find a telepath for you.”
“Right.” Steve turned his attention to Natasha. “Are you ready to go to the Tower with us?”
"No. I want to go to the Mansion."
An awkward silence ensued. Steve couldn't think of anything to say to that, Fury looked more than happy to let Steve handle it, and the other three clearly didn't want to get involved. Natasha had the same stubborn look in her eye that Tony would get when he refused to budge.
“You do know that the Mansion is gone, right?” asked Steve finally.
"Yes, Reed told me. I want to see if for myself," she replied. "You can either take me there yourself or I can find my own way. I honestly don't give a damn which it is."
He could tell that Natasha wasn’t going to let this go even though she appeared almost dead on her feet. If the media got wind of her it would take all of Steve’s political clout to get Congress to leave her alone, even after they had decided not to pin Osborn’s crimes on Tony. She needed protection and some peace of mind before things got crazy. If visiting the Mansion could give her that, who was he to deny her?
“Fine, but we’re not staying long. Maybe twenty minutes at the most. You need to rest after having such a busy day,” he added dryly.
Natasha crossed her arms and pouted playfully in response. It caused Tony to look uncommonly adorable and, for a brief moment, Steve forgot to breathe.
“Such a mother hen,” she muttered, climbing into the passenger seat. “I kick a couple of guys’ asses and you sentence me to bed rest.”
“Don’t make me change my mind,” he warned her.
“I can’t remember the last time I had to ride in the back of a car,” Spider-Man mused once he, Luke, and Danny had piled into the car.
“I always sit in the back,” said Danny. “What would be the point of having a driver if you didn’t?”
Luke, who had somehow gotten stuck sitting between them, just shook his head.
“Cop cars,” was all he said, and the topic was dropped.
The flying vehicle rose and Steve directed out into the open sky, keeping one eye on his rearview mirror as he watched Fury see them off without waving. The sun would be setting in a couple of hours, reminding him of how long a day it had been. To think that just this morning Steve’s main concern had been Don taking Tony off life-support was surreal.
“You should probably apologize to Don next time you see him,” he said to Natasha.
She turned away from the window, frowning. “Who’s Don?”
“Donald Blake? He was the doctor you took hostage this morning.”
“Yeah, taking a doctor hostage really doesn’t help you make a good impression.” Natasha appeared suitably ashamed. “I’m sure he didn’t appreciate me threatening to break his neck either.”
“You threatened to break a god’s neck? Wow,” said Spider-Man. “You’re braver than me.”
“He’s a god?” Steve didn’t realize that he was staring at her in disbelief until Natasha scowled. “What?”
“You don’t know who Thor is?” he asked, trying not to get distracted from where he was driving.
“He’s the Norse god of thunder or something, right? I don’t understand what that’s to do with anything.”
“In our universe, Thor is one of the founding Avengers,” said Steve. “He and Donald Blake are…well, it’s a little complicated. They’re sort of the same person, but not exactly. Don uses his cane to become Thor, and the cane becomes his hammer Mjölnir.”
“So why didn’t he just use his stick to kick my ass when I grabbed him?” asked Natasha, curious.
“You knocked it out of his hand when you grabbed him.”
“Oh…oops?” She peered out at the city landscape beneath them. “It looks so alive.”
“It’s New York,” said Luke gruffly. “What’d you expect?”
“I don’t know,” she confessed. “It’s just been a long time since I’ve seen so many people in one place. It’s a little overwhelming.”
Trying to picture New York the way she was describing it was unduly depressing, and made Steve think of the apocalyptic films that were so popular. He wasn’t a big fan of them and they hadn’t been played often back when the Avengers had movie night. Everyone had preferred upbeat classics, like Indiana Jones.
“We don’t have to stay long if you don’t want to,” said Steve gently.
The car began its descent once the Mansion was in view and even seeing it from this height didn’t ease the ache in his heart. Natasha pressed her hands against the window and he could see her expression reflected in the glass. It was easy to recognize the grief and sorrow, as he had often seen Tony show those emotions, but there was also something else that he couldn’t identify. While they had loved and lost the Mansion, Steve got the impression that the same thing hadn’t happened in Natasha’s world. He resolved to ask her once she had settled in.
They landed silently in the memorial garden and the trio in the back climbed out before Steve. The Young Avengers had done a good job with the statues but he still felt uncomfortable with being stared at by the unseeing eyes of lost friends and teammates.
“Um, Cap?”
He tore his gaze away from Scott Lang’s statue to see Danny pointing awkwardly at the car. Natasha was still inside and hadn’t made a move to get out either. Worried that it may be too much, Steve opened the door and crouched down so he wasn’t looming over her.
“Natasha?”
She took a deep, shuddering breathe. “I’m fine.”
Steve didn’t believe it for a minute, but she rose out of her seat and he backed off to give her room. Natasha tucked her hands into the pockets of the uniform Fury had found for her and strolled off towards the Mansion ruins, head held high. He followed her without hesitation and it made him realize how much he missed having Tony’s back. Coming here with Natasha, with Tony, quickly proved to be a bad idea as old feelings rose to the surface. He wanted to only remember the good times, but his and Tony’s fights during the war kept playing out in his mind’s eye.
“My son grew up here.”
He blinked, surprised to find that they were in the same room the Avengers had gathered in all those months after Wanda’s breakdown. Seeing Natasha with her arms wrapped tight around herself as if to ward off a chill reminded him of how small Jennifer Walters had seemed then, so broken.
“My Jim grew up here. Just like Cassie, Nathan, and the twins. They all…”
She trailed off, clearly at a loss. Steve wanted to reach out and comfort her but could sense a chasm between them, a chasm created by her personal loss that he couldn’t quite empathize. It was one thing to wake up decades later to a new world, but to lose one and find yourself in a reflection of it was different.
Without warning Natasha grabbed a nearby chair and flung it at the closest wall with a scream of rage. It mostly fell apart in her hands due to decay, but what was left made a loud splintering sound on contact. Her shoulders heaved as she attempted to steady herself and Steve was glad that they had gone inside alone. Seeing her come undone like this would have probably scared both Danny and Spider-Man off while making Luke even more mistrustful of her.
“I think I’m ready to go now,” said Natasha quietly, breathing back under control.
She didn’t wait for an answer, but walked out of the Mansion and carefully avoided making eye contact with anyone as she got back into the car. Danny and Spider-Man exchange looks – or the equivalent while wearing masks – and followed suit. Luke grabbed Steve’s shoulder as he walked by.
“Everything okay?” he asked. Steve realized he must have heard Natasha’s scream.
“I’ll call Charles myself,” he said instead. “I’m not going to risk Reed getting involved in a project and forgetting. Even if we can’t get Tony back she needs someone to talk to, some kind of counseling.”
“Yeah.” Luke shook his head humorlessly. “Amazing how fucked up this job can make us, huh?”
He got back into the car, forcing Spider-man into the middle. Steve just stood there, alone, in a garden full of dead Avengers and wondered what in the hell life was going to throw at them next.
>>>>>
Chapter Four